I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This baby is an asshole
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
