Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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