Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
