Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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