the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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