so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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