I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 Iβll stop doing that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize