It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
