i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
