people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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