I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
