If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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