Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test