All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.