I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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