OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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