I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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