Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
