Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
