There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize