Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
