This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
