does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
In America we eat man semen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
