dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize