I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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