She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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