So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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