It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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