she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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