I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
