woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
