I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
