and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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