Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
