I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off