You just made me feel so damn special
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks