Soap is not a condiment
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
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My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.