no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
