omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
