I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she peed on how many people?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
