I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
