Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
