Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you inspire me to be a worse person
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
