hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
