How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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