he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
