Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
