Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
