I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
