This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
