I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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