So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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