She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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