I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
