I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
