i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize