S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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