I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
