i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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