So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
