Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
